I love retreat.

Though i've fallen up and down countless times spiratually. I havent been able to realize or do anything about it because i've been so busy. Junior year is killing me and its making me so busy with homework and studying and actually trying... -.-" Yet finally winter break comes, and its time for retreat. Such a relaxing time, where u dont have to worry about homework, tests, looking good cause all u wanna do is stay warm, and u just think. think think think... think how ignorant you've been acting... think how selfish you were... think about how you're gonna turn this around... think if you're even deserving... but mainly you think about how your going to change with God. Being in silence away from the busy world allows you too see all the blessings around you... see all the people that care and love you... and see that you're not in this spiritual struggle alone.

Usually when i attend retreats i get a spiritual high and tell myself yeah that was awesome im gonna be different this time. but i always getting distracted and forget about that promise. Yet this time, im gonna strive for this, go for it full on. Cause im sick of living an unsatisfying life where you feel like something is missing. Im tired of worrying, i wanna be able to live life knowing that everything is going to be okay. I know i havent been the best boy, but i know that God understands how i feel. and i hope that he will change me to be a person that pleases him. And i cant expect to achieve this by continuing the way i live with my cursing and piercing tongue. "The evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him" but i want to be different and be "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him." I know it will be hard and imma try my best, so please pray for me and keep me accountable.